Happy New Year

Happy new year to all my readers, may 2012 bring you all you hope and wish for!

Editing

I'm in the process of editing the manuscript I have recently digitised. It's a tedious process of correcting typos, spelling mistakes and OCR errors.
I've done 3 chapters so far, still hoping to have it published sometime in January.

Weight Maintain

Weighed myself today and I have actually lost about half a kilo, so I'll count that as a maintain over the Christmas period.

Not bad really, I put it down to sensible excess!

Water Cooling Project

I've converted my number crunching machine ti water cooling.

Well actually it's a hybrid of water and air cooling.

CPU and 1 GPU are now watercooled.
The second GPU, RAM, Northbridge, Southbridge and hard drives are still air cooled.
Plus the case still has 3 fans, one of which is controlled by the temperature on the CPU water block.

The project has been successful as the GPU running temp has dropped from 70 C to 50 C and the CPU temperature is more stable, although a couple of degrees higher around 45 C.

This is the ZALMAN Resorator 1 V2 basic kit.

Blackberry 8520 and iphone 4

Blackberry 8520 and iphone 4 now available in my online store. http://astore.amazon.co.uk/andhilstrsur-21?_encoding=UTF8&node=104
More phones coming soon.

Rich Food

The rich food of yesterday has made my IBS play up a bit, but I should be able to keep it under control with medication.
We're off out for a meal again this lunchtime, then it will be back to normal eating routine until new years day, when we are off out for another meal.
I wonder what next thursday's weigh in will look like?

Christmas Dinner

Went out for Christmas dinner with my cousin and parents.
Had a great time stuffed full and tired out! Just woken up from my afternoon nap!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas
Happy Holidays
Seasons Greetings

(whatever is appropriate to your culture)

Computer Fixed

System Image restore was successful, it's been working fine all day today, apart from my video capture program causing lockups, that project still needs a bit of work obviously.

Computer broken

Following my success with the water cooling project, I decided to do some work on my video digitising project and managed to break windows!
I'm now on the second attempt to restore from a system image.

Water Cooling Project

Water cooling project completed successfully
Of course it was more difficult than expected!
Things had to be adapted to fit, a couple of cards had to be swapped over to make things fit, which confused the hell out of windows when I eventually started up again, until I loaded the correct network adapters again.

Anyway all working now. A good job done with help from my cousin Stu... Great teamwork!

Almost Christmas

It's getting dangerously close to Christmas now, my cousin has come to stay for the holidays as usual. No last minute shopping to do, so can laugh at all the panic going on!

Touch and go as to whether my liquid cooling system arrives this week. As long as it arrives before the end of next week, while I have help to install it. Need to change my mains supply arrangements too. It will probably turn into an all day job, hopefully without too much frustration.

Visitors

Clair and possibly Abi coming today.
Cousin Stu coming tomorrow for the holidays.

I like visitors! But I like my own space sometimes too.

Short Term Memory

Had a really annoying short term memory issue earlier, I was going to look something up on the internet, it seemed really important at the time, but something distracted me and I completely forgot what I was going to look up. I have racked my brains tried to retrace my thought steps but it's completely gone.
It's really bugging me, I'm trying to forget about it, things usually come back when I do that. But I just can't get it out of my head! So Annoying!!!

Liquid cooling project

Well I've done it I've ordered the components for my liquid cooling project eeeek....

Hand improvements

It was one year ago today that I was discharged from Hospital, and what a journey that year has been.

Just recently I have noticed more marked improvements in my hand and arm.
One problem I have had is that I have been unable to get a glove on my left hand, my fingers just curl up when I try.
However today I wanted to throw some bleach around in the bathroom, so I tried putting my marigolds on, my left hand just slipped in... well like a hand into a glove... another small step forward!

Next big computer project

My next big computer project is going to be converting my number crunching machine to liquid cooling. I'm going to have a waterfall and everything!!
Have to save my pennies up though!
Help fund this project.... Shop at my online store http://astore.amazon.co.uk/andhilstrsur-21?_encoding=UTF8&node=103 

***Special Promotion***

***Special Promotion*** Until Friday 23rd December My Surviving a stroke trilogy can be downloaded for FREE http://astore.amazon.co.uk/andhilstrsur-21?_encoding=UTF8&node=103

Eventful Day

Went to hospital with my dad to have his prostate markers inserted in preparation for his radio therapy.
All went OK, journey back in wet, dark and mist a bit scary. I'm not a good passenger, be glad when I'm driving again.

Just looked at my book sales report, I've had a sudden sales spurt, still time to get them in time for the holidays http://astore.amazon.co.uk/andhilstrsur-21?_encoding=UTF8&node=103

3rd Book Available

The third book in my surviving a stroke series, One Year On, is now available on Amazon Kindle https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B006NFB5BO

Third Book

The third book in my surviving a stroke trilogy, One Year On, has been sent for publishing. Should be available on Amazon Kindle Next week.

Writing Target for Christmas

I have set myself the target of getting my third book in the surviving a stroke aeries ready for publishing and to complete the scanning and digitising of the old manuscript I found, by Christmas, both are jobs that I find tedious, but I'm pushing myself to get them done. It is a good exercise in Concentration.

Computer Housekeeping

Having to do some housekeeping on my number crunching machine this morning, my 1Tb System drive is nearly full already!
Where does it all come from?

I feel like I've got a bit of a cold coming on.
I'm even more snuffly than normal, got that tingle at the back of my mouth/throat and I have that feeling on my chest that theres something constantly there that you need to huf off.

Boo... hate colds!

IBS

Went out for lunch with my parents today, I just had a chicken baguette, in line with my diet, it came with mixed leaf side salad which I enjoyed at the time.
Unfortunately this evening my body "rejected" it, and has left me with moderate IBS discomfort. I've had IBS for 30 years now and since the stroke it seems to have got worse again. Sometimes I just wish I could eat what I liked without repercussions! 

Facebook

I've fallen out with Facebook!
I'm sick and tired of random bits of it not working.
For such a big organisation they should concentrate on making the features they have work properly, instead of constantly developing new features that no-one likes or even wants!

I've stopped short of deleting my account at the moment, I'll wait until the red mist clears and see if I still feel the same about it before doing that.

AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Target Weight

I've reached my target weight of getting below 75kg today, I tipped the scales at 74.4kg. I can relax a bit for Christmas now as long as I avoid a major blowout!

STROKE - The new wonder slimming aid!
Don't think it will catch on though!

Bad Night

My parents have an ongoing problem with a noisy neighbor above them, who has now taken to ranting to his noisy mates that he has round about them.
They have started complaints procedures with the council, the police don't seem that interested, do they have to wait until they are physically attacked before anything gets done?

Anyway they were so frightened by the noise, the amount of people upstairs, about 5 in total and the ranting, last night, that they came and stopped at my place.
The whole thing caused me to have an anxiety attack, the worst I have had since being on medication.
Anyway they have gone back this morning and all is quiet and we are all well.

It's all a nightmare situation and we don't know what to do!

The Freeview Project

The Freeview PC project is going quite well, the hardware seems good the software is OK, but it integrates well with windows media centre, which is pretty good.
I just need to wait for the ariel splitter to arrive now, at the moment I have to disconnect the TV ariel in order to connect it up. Which is annoying to say the least!
Anyway with the initial tests I am quite impressed.

Freeview enabled PC

My latest project is to freeview enable my main PC the hardware has cost less than £30 and it's HD as well.

Vivid dreams

I have always been a frequent and vivid dreamer.
However one of the aftereffects of the stroke had been to increase the apparent vividness of my dreams.
For the most part they are good if rather weird, at worst they are a little disturbing, but rarely what you would call bad.
I have actually started dreaming as I am just falling asleep and still continuing when I am just waking up, giving the impression that I am having waking dreams.

I have to say that I enjoy these dreams, and actually look forward to going to sleep and dreaming.

Following the suggestion of someone on the TalkStroke Forum, I'm going to try to record some of them in a book.

Old Manuscript

I have recently found an old manuscript of a book I wrote back in 1994.
I have searched everywhere but failed to find an electronic version of it, so today I have started the long and tedious task of scanning the pages and OCRing them.
I have done the first chapter as a test, it wasn't quite as hard or tedious as I had expected, my plan is to publish it on Kindle early in the new year.

Coping

My parents have gone to a family do down in Telford, I havn't gone because I can't be coping with the travelling. and all the people, I would feel like I was the star in a freak show. I'll just keep an eye on their flat, as they are having problems with a noisy nutter neighbor at the moment.
Just the sort of hassle we all don't need! Still they're away from it for a couple of days and I'm far enough away not to be affected.

Why is there so little consideration in this world?

4od

Just watched a program on 4od  for the first time in ages. Not that impressed, compared to BBC iplayer, the buffering and general responsiveness seems quite poor.

Bad Thursday

In order to achieve the balance in things, yesterday was not such a good day.
Full of little niggles and annoyances, computer crashes, general frustrations and EVERYTHING!
Still, nobody died.

The Bargain Monitor Saga

The replacement power supply for the bargain monitor arrived today and so far it appears to be working fine. It's been on for several hours now. So hopefully now the saga is over, and my main machine is up to it's full compliment of 5 monitors.

Had quite a good computer day all round, got a few little jobs done including getting Bluetooth working on Clair's laptop.
The video capture device for my video digitising project has arrived too. Haven't got the audio working on that yet though.

All this without any major frustration upsets today too.
I'm going to officially declare a good day!

Third Book

I've started work on my third book in the surviving a stroke series,,"One year on" Hoping it will be finished early in the new year.

Work

Spoke to my boss at work on Skype this morning, it's deathly quiet there but at least they're ticking over. In an odd way I'm glad I'm out of it at the moment. I'm going to take my time and get my brain working again, before I rush myself back to work, I don't want to set myself up for a fall!

The exclusive club

Had a visit from my Stroke Association volunteer friend this morning. It's good to chat face to face to a fellow survivor. We are an exclusive club, that no-one wants to join.
He thinks I'm doing really well.

New Monitor

My 3rd new monitor should arrive today, all I need then is the replacement power supply for the bargain one, and I'm all set up!

What a saga!

Prejudice against the disabled

A newspaper article about prejudice against the disabled has been brought to my attention, and prompted this comment on the Stroke Association forum!

Being disabled has certainly open my eyes to the intolerance of the general public, although thankfully I have not been directly abused as of yet, people barge past , barge in front, walk straight at me and huf under their breath,

I feel like shouting at them, I'm sorry if the fact that I've had a stroke has inconvenienced your life for a bit, because it sure as hell has kicked the arse out of mine!

That government and press should reinforce these prejudices is unforgivable.. and we call ourselves a civilised country... HA!

Read the article here http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/dec/04/ian-birrell-prejudice-against-disabled

Christmas Bonus

I have just received a letter from the DWP, my first thought was one of dread! "What's gone wrong now!"

But surprise of surprises it seems I am getting a £10 Christmas Bonus for being on DLA / ESA allowances.
Not an earth shattering amount by any stretch of the imagination, but it is a pleasent surprise for a change.

The bargain monitor saga... continues

I have been in touch with the supplier and the power supply is going back for testing and replacement.... in the meantime I have ordered another Hanns-G monitor to match my other 2, once I finally get the Acer working, my machine will be up to it's maximum compliment of 5 monitors.

24 hours without painkillers

I've managed to get through the last 24 hours without painkillers, been a while since I've done that!
I think as I've started to do more I have got more muscle aches. Hopefully it's reached a plateau now.

Frosty Morning

It was probably the worst frost of the winter this morning, but it was safe underfoot, so I ventured outside.

I have no intention of going out if it gets slippery, the last thing I want is a fall that sets me back months!

The bargain Monitor saga.

A couple of weeks back I picked up a bargain monitor on eBay only £20 17" LCD.

It arrived quickly, looked good but came with no power supply, (My fault for not reading description properly)
Ordered what I thought was the right power supply from Amazon, arrived quickly, right spec voltage etc, but wrong plug to connect to monitor, this was an Acer Laptop supply not Acer Monitor supply (My fault for not reading properly)
Looked more carefully on Amazon, and ordered correct power supply. Arrived today, correct spec correct plug. Connected up, switched on all working fine..... For about 15 minutes..... then monitor went off! Light on power supply was off, tried other power leads but power supply was dead!
Now contacting Seller on Amazon market place to find out about replacement, wish i'd just bought a new monitor like the other 2 I have!!! AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last day of Movember

It's the last day of my temporary moustache today. No-one has donated to me :-( so please do it now http://mobro.co/andyhill242 it's a good cause!

UK online shopping bargins

Check out my UK shopping page, http://andyhill.creativesolutionsmall.com/uk_shopping.html

Bad Day

To counteract the successful day I had the other day, everything I have done today has shot flames! Even some of the things I thought worked the other day have turned out not too. Still easy come easy go... wish that was true I just get so angry and upset when things go wrong, this is taking some working on to stabilise my moods again!

Remember Vinyl Records?

I'm in the process of digitising what remains of my vinyl collection. I had forgotten what a poor quality and tempremental media vinyl was!

Successful day

Had quite a successful computer day today. Got a few little projects finished off, including fixing a windows problem on my download machine, creating a backup server for my mail server and coming up with some ideas for my eCommerce site.
Of course there was a fair amount of upset and frustration. My concentration and problem solving skills are way below par, but I figure the only way to fix this is to keep working at it.
http://andyhill.creativesolutionsmall.com/

Lazy day

Having a lazy day today, trying to catch up on a load of unfinished little projects.

Multitasking

I've been practicing multitasking as it is one of the things that has been affected by the stroke.
Strange thing is under test conditions I can manage it quite well, it's when it comes to real life situations it all falls apart and I get distressed!

Paracetamol

It's official.
Paracetamol is safe to take long term as long as you don't exceed the maximum dose of 2 tablets in 4 hours and 8 in 24 hours.

Almost at target weight

I weighed in at 75.5 kg today, and my target is really 75kg, so almost there, but really I'm happy to be below 76kg. I've just got to avoid celebrating by going on an eating binge now!
My blood pressure seems to have settled within target range now too!

Online Bargains

Today nothing happened!
Nothing seemed to be going right first thing. But managed to settle down as the day went on, my friend Clair came to visit, which always cheers me up.
My parents have picked  up on some random story that people on Paracetamol long term are likely to accidently overdose and so are now fretting about that now. Whilst all the evidence that I can find shows that long term use is perfectly safe within normal therapeutic doses. In any case I have e-mailed my stroke case manager to ask her opinion on the subject. 

e-commerce site

I've started an e-commerce site, to try to make a bit of money whilst unable to work, (and yes the authorities will be informed of any profits I make from it). Take a look http://andyhill.creativesolutionsmall.com/ some of the best online deals.

Sleeping later

I've started sleeping in a bit later, I think it's because the cold dark mornings are so uninviting.
It's not a problem, but I will have to adjust my morning routine to accommodate.
I like to have my routines, I get agitated if I can't stick to them.

iTunes

Finally jumped on to the iTunes bandwagon, got an account and everything.
Got it because the software I got to convert vinyl to mp3 uses it.
It pains my greatly to bow down to the mighty Apple empire, everyone always criticises Micro$oft, yet apple ties you in to their products even more and no-one seems to say anything.

Anyway tied in I am, and what an annoying application it is flying off at tangents when you are trying to do anything!!

Pushing an Elephant up the stairs

Some days things go smoothly, and some days everything seems to be so difficult and I just feel like I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs all the time.
One of my monitors has packed up today, it's like trying to work with one eye closed. I've got a new one on order for delivery tomorrow!
So normality will soon be restored!

Physio Discharge

As expected my physio discharged me yesterday, he was very pleased with my progress.
He told me to keep on with the exercises 3 times a day or I am likely to go backwards.

I planned to keep on with the exercises anyway.

This is another milestone reached. But I believe there is more improvement to come yet.

Physio and Memory

I've got physio this afternoon, first session in a while, might be the last too, I may be discharged today and left to exercise on my own. I don't mind this, I'm ready for it now.

My head was all over the place this morning, I wasn't concentrating on anything I was doing, kept doing silly things like forgetting to take plate back into kitchen to wash!
Annoying!!

Walking Improving?

As I set off for my morning walk this morning, I thought "I'm walking well and naturally today", my left foot was falling naturally, with almost no hint of a limp.
Then as soon as I consciously thought about it, the tension in my affected leg came back and my foot reverted to it's somewhat slapping contact with the floor.

This is a good sign though, my brain is obviously learning to walk again automatically without any thought input from me.
I know it may be sometime before this happens again, before I manage to let go my conscious mind and walk automatically again and eventually walk naturally all the time.

Today is a good day! 

3rd book in my Surviving a Stroke Trilogy

OCDs and routines

I was a bit later than normal getting up today, due to a minor 1/2 hour oversleep and it put me all about.
I'm such a creature of habit, I have a routine and I like to stick to it.
In fact I have a few minor OCds, the SSRI antidepressants more or less stopped them when I first started taking them but they are starting to creep back now, I'm not worried because they are well under control.

I was a bit wobbly on my feet this morning, don't know if it was related to being behind schedule but it soon passed.

I'm about to start work on the 3rd book in my surviving a stroke trilogy.
Watch this space!

Lazy saturday

Having a Lazy day today, just exercises, housework and tatting with computers, not going out anywhere.

Seem to have managed to stabilise IBS which has been troubling me for a few days.

Large Hadron Collider

The LHC (Large Hadron Collider) will soon start Heavy Ion Physics.
I like heavy ions, proper men's particle physics, none of this poncy proton stuff!!

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: 
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. 
At the going down of the sun and in the morning 
We will remember them.

Ups and Downs

My weight is still slowly coming down, but my level of impatience, intolerance and  general frustration is going up!

Blood pressure still pretty much OK though.

wednesday

My mum came over today to pick up my sick note request to take to the doctors, when she saw it said I was having memory, concentration and tiredness problems she got all upset.
I wish I could stop my parents from worrying so much.

My friend Clair is coming over today and she has a cold, so I'll be taking appropriate infection control measures!

Life after Stroke Video

take a look at this moving video from the Stroke Association website http://www.stroke.org.uk/information/my_story/video_stories/a_survivors_guide.html

Had a bit of a do trying to set up email on my phone today, just wouldn't work and I didn't know why. I got all upset and made my head hurt, so I've left it for now. I just can't cope with things going wrong!

Setback

Managed to hurt my affected shoulder during the night, by turning funny or something. I was worried I had done some real damage, because it hurt and wouldn't move properly, but a few exercises got it going again.

Seems OK this morning, just a little stiff.


I'm glad my stroke anniversary is over, I was a bit apprehensive of the day, as if it was going to happen again or something, silly really!

One year on

It's now a year since I had my stroke.
What a year of ups and downs it's been too, mostly up's though I have to say.
I have been lucky, I survived and I've only been moderately affected.
I can just about walk now, but only for short distances. Arm movement and control is slowly returning. I have a few short term memory, cognitive, and stress issues. My blood pressure is just about under control now, as long as I avoid stress, as is my cholesterol.
I have managed to avoid any falls or seizures so far.

Generally I have come to terms with my new life and I feel positive for the future.

I look at this image from time to time, (MRI image taken the day after the stroke), it reminds me that a little piece of me is gone forever.

Bonfire Night thoughts.

Everyone be safe tonight.

I know everyone will say I'm a party pooper and killjoy, but In these days of terrorist fears I can't believe that will will sell high explosives over the counter to anyone who looks like an adult!
Surely it must be time to restrict fireworks to organised displays only.

Brain Training

I've joined the Luminosity web site http://www.lumosity.com to see if I can address some of the post stroke mental issues that I have.

Friday

Bit of a dull wet morning, that feels cold and damp, although it's actually quite mild, makes my muscles stiffen up.

Mo is coming on slowly, have a laugh and watch it grow at http://mobro.co/andyhill242 also make a donation, it's a good cause.

Thursday

Bad IBS yesterday evening, seems to be much better this morning though.

I blame the salad I had at lunchtime, my body obviously rejected it for being to healthy!

Movember

I'm participating in Movember to raise awareness of men's cancer, why not join yourself.... http://uk.movember.com/?home 

Tuesday

Today is binary day!

0100011101100101011101000010000001100010011010010110111001100001011100100111100100100001

This colder weather is making it more difficult to walk for me, it stiffens my muscles especially on my affected side, my everyday aches and pains are worse today!

I can't believe it's nearly a year since my stroke! I've accepted my new life now..... 

Nothing happened

I am pretty much in a rhythm with my new life now, I have a routine of exercise and brain challenges.
If it doesn't get any better than this then I'll be happy.
I guess this is truly the acceptance stage.

Sunday Rant

A fairly average day today, normal exercise, normal housework, normal aches and pains.
Body clock all over the place due to changing clocks!
What an outmoded historically novel idea that is!
Leave the damn clocks at GMT all year, if you want more hours of daylight get up earlier!
I can't comprehend that they are thinking about leaving the clocks at GMT+1 in winter and GMT+2 in summer.
Unbelievable, can't they remember the last disastrous time they tried it!
Kids going to school in dark, dark winter mornings the accident rate will go through the roof!

Frustration

Did a bit more word on my new PC today, of course a string of things went wrong! I didn't cope well as usual, got very wound up and upset.

To be honest I was on the edge as far as stress and frustration goes before and the stroke just pushed me over the edge!

Inconsiderate People

Went shopping with my parents this morning, and as usual people were flying past and barging in front of me.

I have a stick, I walk slowly and awkwardly, give me a break for screaming out loud!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday - Working from home, it's the way forward.

Damp weather today, doesn't suit me at all, get's in your bones as my old gran used to say! Made my affected leg stiffen up while walking today!

Put on 0.3kg in the last week! No treats for me this week.

I've decided that once I am fit for work again the way forward is to find a work from home job, so it can fit in with my physio regime.

Wednesday

Better day today, managed to fix some of the things that went wrong yesterday.
Like everyone, I have up days and down days, it's just that yesterday was very down!

Tuesday

Had a terrible day today, everything seemed to go wrong in annoying little ways and I coped with it very badly! Ended up clasping my hands to my head and screaming at one point!
I was doing various bits of computer work, there is no way I will ever go back to the job I did before, the stress would be too much.... I need to find an alternative career!

Benefit

Had a bit of a panic this morning. My ESA benefit that I expected to to be paid in today, wasn't.

One phonecall and quite a lot of time on hold later, I have found out that the payment date has been changed to tomorrow, so panic over.

I just don't need this hastle!

Monday

My friend Clair and her little girl Abi coming over today.
Friendly intellectual stimulation for me.

Sunday

My head's all over the place today, I've got too many things going on in my mind. The trouble is the more I think my head's all over the place the worse it gets!
I keep jumping from one thing to another, leaving jobs half done. I've just got to slow down and take one thing at a time.

This cold weather isn't suiting me at all, it makes the muscles on my affected side stiffen up. Making walking even more difficult than usual. I can see myself becomming a recluse until spring!

Lazy Saturday

I'm having, what I used to call a lazy day in my old life, today, not going out anywhere and just relaxing, I've done my housework for the day now, so apart from physio and eating, I've got nothing to do.

My parents are going out somewhere, but I'm not going with them, I'm trying to give them more time to themselves as well as having more time to myself.
I know I shouldn't but I feel guilty for putting them through what I have.

My mum still fusses over me, but I'm trying to wean her off it!
I've stopped her from letting herself into my flat now, she has to knock the door like everyone else. It makes the place feel more like my own again! - Little things!

The first stage of overclocking on my PC seems to be OK, system seems stable enough, the only thing I have noticed is perhaps a 1 degree rise in Northbridge temperature.

I've got my eye on the GPUs for the next overclocking stage, before I do any more on the motherboard.

Friday

Just a shopping trip into town this morning with parents. I didn't buy anything, on an economy drive, in preparation for when I get car. Walking made me a bit tired. Enjoyed a nice nap this afternoon.

Just finished first stage of PC overclocking. Bus speed 333MHz -> 340MHz seems OK so far going to do a week of stability testing now before next stage.

CPU-Z validation.

Motability Car

At long last my motability car claim is moving again. The DWP have finally extended my mobility allowance until Jan 2014, so I have got the car on order again.

Great thanks to Sue Parsons, the ULH Complex Case Manager - Stroke for sorting this out for me!

Sense triumphs over bureaucracy! 

Thursday

Lost almost another kilo in the last week only 1.5kg to my target now!

Got my PC stable at standard clock now. Over the next few weeks going to increase the BUS speed from 333MHz to 340MHz to 345MHz to 350MHz testing at each stage and see how it goes.

Current CPU-Z certification

THOR the new PC that I built

YouTube video and description of the new PC I built.

Tuesday (WARNING!! contains graphical detail about bodily functions)

Trapped wind caused an involuntary bowel movement this morning, it was not serious and was easily dealt with. I get these embarrassing problems occasionally, it is caused by a combination of my IBS and the SSRI medication.

The new fans for my computer arrived today, I think I now have all the internal  hardware set up how I want it. I just need to fine tune the cooling setup now before I start some system tweaking.

It is extra physio day today, I do about 1/2 hour of extra arm exercises once a week.

Monday

Been a fairly quiet day today.

Tomorrow (Tuesday) my new PC fans arrive, so I will be installing the final cooling upgrade. Then once I have got all the cooling settings stable after a few days, I'll look at some system tweaking. The additions will bring the total number of fans to 13!

Sunday

Went for a different "long" walk today, about the same distance as my other long walk but felt like a change, it's going about half way round the block in the opposite direction that I usually do a half circuit, my aim in a couple of months time is to complete the whole circuit, which is about a mile.

Also changed bed and hoovered flat, tired any achey now. Things just don't seem to be getting easier and less effort anymore. I guess improvement has just slowed down.

Not much planned for the week ahead, just some new fans on order for my new PC. The reason for so many fans, the new additions will make 11 in total, is that this machine runs constantly at high usage with all the grid processing that it does. At the moment it runs at standard clock speed, but once I am happy with the cooling I will look at some mild overclocking. Reliability is more important than overall performance on this machine.

I will post an update with the full spec of the machine soon.

Saturday

Short walk followed by cleaning bathroom and kitchen, then dusting entire flat.
Went out for lunch at a garden centre with the folks, net result of all this, worn out, afternoon kip was much needed today.
Then I got another OpenBVE underground working.... it's not sad it's therapy!

Friday

Fairly quiet day today, popped in to town with parents to do a bit of shopping this morning, this left me fairly tired.
Really needed my afternoon nap, today. I've let the Stroke Matron know that I am still getting a lot of fatigue, as well as muscle spasms on my affected side and pains in my head around the area of the stroke. I don't think any of this is anything to worry about but just wanted to be on the safe side.

Nothing special planned for the weekend, but will probably have a ride out somewhere with the folks tomorrow morning.

Thursday

Maintained weight at 77.5kg for the last week, not to bothered as long as it doesn't start creeping up again. My target is 75kg, so close!

Going for lunch with parents today, and going to get booked in for Christmas day! - Soon roll round!

Wednesday

I like wednesdays, it's the day my friend Clair comes to visit, a day of an eclectic mix of stimulating conversation.
All good brain Therapy!

No strange hand feelings today, it was just my usual trapped nerve problem. Now before I started on the SSRI antidepressants, this would have started a major anxiety attack, and a definite trip to A&E... wasting everyone's time!

Funny feeling

My right hand feels a bit funny this morning, I think its to do with a trapped nerve in my shoulder, if it gets any funnier I'm off to A&E, it was my left hand going funny that was the first sign of my stroke! Anyway I'm sure it's nothing!

Had mt computer in bits this morning to fit a memory card reader / temp /fan controller...... really hard work as usual with limited dexterity. At one point I ended up on my back on the floor, unable to get up, I thought I was going to have to press my panic alarm, but I remembered what I was taught about falls and managed to get myself up in the end!

Don't ever have a stroke, they're rubbish!!

Monday

Got a quiet week this week, no jabs or tests or meetings to go to.

Just going to have a nice quiet week... nothing too strenuous, just usual physio exercises. A bit of computer work to keep my brain active and a visit from my friend Clair on wednesday to keep me sane.

Sunday Morning

Longer walk and housework left me feeling a bit shattered again.
The meeting yesterday tired me too, had a couple of hours sleep when I got home.

I don't think non stroke survivors understand how tiring everything can be! Mentally and physically, everything is tiring! Apparently it lessens after about a year... can't wait!

Stroke Meeting - Update

I actually really enjoyed the stroke unit meeting, it was good to give feedback, good to see some of the staff again, my favorite nurse was there.

Stroke unit reunion

I'm going to a reunion / feedback meeting for Lincoln Stroke unit, where I spent my time in hospital, this afternoon.

I'm glad I'm going to give feedback and support to the people who helped me, but at the same time not looking forward to it. I've never been very good at this type of social occasion and also everything is so difficult after a stroke, even simple things like conversation!

My parents are coming to as my carers, so at least I won't be on my own.

Forgetful Friday

I was in the bathroom this morning, having a wash, when I heard a knock at the door. Thought I better check who it was as I went into the hall they were trying the door. I opened it and it was the Wiltshire farm food man delivering, I had completely forgot he was coming. I've got stroke brain.....! (A bit like baby brain??!!)

Computer did a couple of BSODs last night (Blue screen of death!) The first one was caused when I went into the NVIDIA control panel, doesnt seem to like doing this when GPU background processing is happening, I should have known better! The second once which was more worrying, happened overnight, it was crashed when I got up this morning. Something else to investigate.
The annoying thing is I lost a lot of valuable Grid Computing time!

Thursday

A bit achey this morning, bit of a reaction to the jabs, Pneumonia arm is particularly bad, feels like the muscle is bruised internally, still I expect I'll be fine by tomorrow!

Lost another 1/2 kg in the last week, had a cholesterol result of 2.9 yesterday from a recent blood test, which is excellent and my blood pressure this morning was 110/78 which is not bad, it's always at it's highest in the morning, before I take my Amlodopine, and some 14 hours after I have taken my Ramipril.

So it looks like I'm doing all the right things.
Just got to keep improving the physical side now and get my thinking and coping working better!

So good to have 2 arms again

It's so good to have 2 arms again! Even though old lefty still has a way to go yet!
I've come so far and I've been so lucky!

Love life and never take anything for granted.

2 jabs for the price of 1

Had my flu jab and a pneumonia jab as well.
No anaphalactic shock  or anything, had one in each arm.

I can't complain at all about the service I have had from the NHS since my stroke.

Flu Jab

Going for my flu jab today, only the second one I've had, last year, I felt fluey for a day afterwards.

My Complex Case Manager - Stroke (Stroke Matron) told me I need to have them as catching flu causes your blood platelets to become sticky, which causes increased clotting and therefore increase stroke risk.

I am so used to injections, needles and blood tests these days it doesn't bother me at all.

Nice day

Had a good lunch and mum enjoyed it, so mission accomplished.

We have always enjoyed family meals out, so it's kind of a bit of my old life that is still alive in my new post stroke life!

Mum's Birthday

Going out for lunch for my mum's birthday today.

Hope she has a good time, she deserves it with both me and my dad being broken at the moment!

Post Stroke Domestication

This morning as I was cleaning the bathroom, I realised that I quite enjoy doing it. Maybe because I find it therapeutic on every level, but mainly I think it's because I can now do it!

I've come a long way since leaving hospital!

A letter from your brain.

Here is a great insight to all kinds of brain injury http://www.waiting.com/letter.html 

Fatigue

As expected the walk and the house work made me feel pretty worn out. I had a couple of lie downs and whiffs of oxygen... and I made it through.

My blood pressure is pretty sensible at the moment, finally got the medication right.
I've just got a reading of 108/65 ... perfect.

Have a quiet day for the rest of the day now, except for my physio exercises. I never find an excuse for not doing these!

Sunday

Sunday mornings are pretty busy. I always try to go for the longer of my morning walks, about 1/2 mile. Then I change the bed and wash the bedclothes, then hoover the flat.
All quite tiring and frustrating these days especially changing the bed. Still, it's all good therapy!

Hidden in plain sight. Inquiry into disability-related harassment

This report was brought to my attention by a fellow stroke survivor.
It backs up the general intolerance that I have experienced by the general public towards disabled people.

http://p3trc.emv2.com/HS?a=ENX7CqkiVuq28SA9MKJHNw_nGHxKLCC_I_cStGb5lw8W0bBhOG5mpqVsje_Hhe-n6lwR

It makes somewhat sickening reading.

Saturday

Planning to have a lazy weekend as I've got a bit of a busy week ahead. It still amazes me how tiring I find everything!

Just got household chores and physio exercises to do.

PC upgrade

Added an extra USB card and an extra fan in the front of the case on my PC today.
Fitting the fan was such hard work it had my head screaming and me shouting and nearly in tears. Not an easy job with only 1 1/2 working hands.
Still with a couple of ingenious tricks that I was rather proud of I managed!

Friday

Wiltshire Farm Foods delivery day today. Yes I am lazy and still have microwave meals for most of my main meals.

They are so easy and safe to prepare, and are great for sticking to my controlled diet.

Waiting for a USB card and an internal cable to be delivered, hopefully today, to finish off my PC, for now at least. Overall, I'm happy with my achievement building it, with only minimal assistance.

Was this a forewarning?

Looking back, from about August 2010 I was unwell. I had a series of sinus problems which gave me some worrying dizzy spells, and after this I felt under the weather. At lunchtimes I would walk to one of 2 parks near to the office, and sit in the fresh air, which seemed to help clear my sinuses.
I felt a bit down at these times as though my life had somehow changed.

Looking back I wonder if these dizzy spells were the results of TIAs... little did I know at the time what was waiting for me in a couple of months!

Thursday

Lost another 0.3 kg in the last week only another 3 kg to go to my target, hope to make it before Christmas.

Been hot today, hottest September day on record apparently. Hot weather doesn't suit me, got air-con on in flat.

DWP

Rang the DWP this morning to check they got my latest sick note. I got straight through without having to wait ages in the queue. They have got my sick note so I can relax for another 2 months now.

Wednesday

Haircut this morning! For some reason, probably a throwback to some childhood experience, I don't like having my hair cut!
Still Clair is coming later to help me get over the shock :-)

Other than all that feel OK today!

Youtube Uploads

I've uploaded a couple more Youtube videos, nothing too interesting a train sim run http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW1dOox55_s and status displays from my grid computing machine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C901XEsq0eI

The main reason for all of this is to practice my computer skills. Capturing and editing the video, converting it and uploading. Same reason as I built my new PC really.
I can do it but I get so frustrated and upset at ant problems.

Learning to drive the Tube train SIM has also helped with my concentration and co-ordination.

It's not sad, it's therapy!

Monday

Got outbid on my Tesla GPU, inspite of doubling my original bid, so I've let it go, it's 2 generations old anyway, definitely not worth bidding any higher!

Had IBS pains last night plus an ache in my stroke arm. relevant pills shifted them both thankfully.
This morning I've just got my usual aches and pains, going to have a lazy day!

Putting your idle computer to work.

Do you leave you computer on most of the time whether you're using it or not?

Put this idle computer time to good use join World Community Grid Do your bit to help technology solve problems!

Sunday

Went for my longer walk this morning. Then changed my bed, washed the bedclothes and hoovered the flat. Worn out now!

Grid Computing

Oh dear I've gone computing performance mad.

I've got an eBay bid in on an Nvidia Telsa C870 GPU !!!

Morning out

Had a morning out to a local garden centre with my parents today.

Enjoyable but wore me out.

10 months on I'm still finding fatigue a problem!

Lost in my new life

I know I've been lucky to get away with so few lasting effects after a "significant" stroke. I also accept that my old life is gone now and I have a new life.

It still seems somehow unreal that I actually had a stroke, not that I'm in any sort of denial, it just seems a bit surreal.

My new life seems a bit surreal too, sure I'm happy with the way things are and the progress I am making, but somehow I feel like a visitor in this life... Very hard to explain... Perhaps you need to have had a stroke to really understand.....

My trip to town

Another trip into town I didn't enjoy, people flying at me from all angles cutting in front of me and being generally inconsiderate! "Sometimes I just feel like screaming out, "For God's sake get out of my waaaaay!!!!!!!"
Particularly bad aches and pains today too!

Microsoft Gremlins

During the night the windows gremlins disabled my primary display, result the desktop and icons were shuffled round the other displays.

This is why IT is always a challenge!
A challenge I'm not really ready for at the moment, unfortunately!

Grid computing woes

Finally sorted out a boinc config error that was not allowing all GPUs to be used simultaneously!
Computers are frustrating for a stroke survivor!

Thursday Morning

Weight check day again, lost another 1/2kg... seems to be going well again at the moment.

Went for my longer morning walk today, wore me out a bit, but soon recovered.
Trip out this afternoon to look at a new B&Q that has opened.

Blood Test

Had blood test done not much waiting today. Having Omlet and beans for breakfast, feel a bit wonky, blood sugar must be low.

Blood test

Having a blood test tomorrow morning about 8am to check cholesterol and also to see if the stroke people can find out why I feel tired all the time.

So I'm fasting from about 6pm today.

Dad's results

Good news! Dad's cancer is limited to the prostate. He's got to have Hormone and radio therapy.
Still waiting for absolute confirmation from the Consultant Radiologist. But the consultant is confident that this is the case.

Tuesday Morning

Dads results today, I'll be glad when we know what we're up against. Hope the cancer is fairly limited.

I feel OK today, IBS much better recently, touches wood, not too achey so far. Head not screaming yet either!

MAXIMUM FRUSTRATION

My head is ablaze today. Everything seems to be annoying me! I just can't seem to cope!

Monday Morning

Nice sunny morning this morning, a definite autumy nip in the air though.

Had to rescue a big spider from the kitchen sink this morning, and found a smaller one dead in the bath.
Obviously spider mating and migration season is upon us.

Had a weird and manic dream last night, see my book Prisms of the Mind for my theories on dreams after stroke.

One more sleep before Dad gets his MRI results and a prognosis on his prostate cancer... Fingers crossed.

Stroke Association website.

I find the talkstroke forums on the Stroke Association website very helpful, plus I feel like my posts are helping other site users.

The Stroke Association have been a great help to me in general, check out their website at http://www.stroke.org.uk

Morning Walk

Went for the longer of my usual morning walks today about 1/2 mile.

At one point I met 3 joggers coming the other way. Made me wonder if I will ever be able to jog or run again.

Did some housework when I got back. Particularly achey now.

New PC completed

Alternative disk drive arrived this morning so I got the PC finished and windows installed.
Spent most of the day setting up seems to be almost there now!

Disk Drive

Gave up on disk drive and ordered an alternative which has arrived today. Watch the original go and turn up now as well 1 week late!

Benefit started again

Now they have received a new sick note the DWP have sent me a cheque to cover the missing payment and presumably future payments will go through by bank transfer as usual.

Phew What a relief!

RU OK?

R U ok? its R U Ok day today supporting depression aimed to prevent suicide by encouraging people to talk! such a good cause

Weight

My weight seems to be slowly coming down again. Lost 1/2 kg in the last week, only about another 4 to go and my BMI will be in the ideal range!

Frustration

ESA benefit still not been paid yet inspite of having sent new sick note.

Still! waiting for disk drive from Amazon...... why is everything so difficult?

Broken Britain!!

Wednesday

Generally I like wednesdays, my dear friend Clair comes to visit. Always nice to see her.

Went for the longer of my morning walks this morning about 1/2 mile. My leg didn't want to work properly, muscles were too tense.
Result is I feel proper banged up now, back and shoulders ache, and I feel like I need oxygen! In fact I've just had a whiff, feel  a bit better now.

The saga of the parcel waiting goes on!

Dad has his MRI scan this saturday and sees the oncologist next tuesday. more stressful waiting to hear things!

Dad's results

Not brilliant news, dad has got prostate cancer, probably not very far advanced. So now he will have to have an MRI scan and see the oncologist again.

Dads hospital appointment

Going to hospital with my dad tomorrow, to get the results of his prostate biopsy.

Hopefully it will be good news!

Clasp hands over head and shriek WHAAAAT!!!

The parcel I've been waiting for still hasn't arrived, neither has a parcel my mum and dad are waiting for. So now I'll have to wait in tomorrow for both of them.

Plus my dad has had a phone call from another department at the hospital to go in next monday for results.
No-one seems to know about his appointment tomorrow, but he has been told to go anyway!

I have no words to describe it all.

Is it impossible for anyone to get anything right?
and I'm the one with brain damage!!

Benefit stopped!

Due to some strange rule that you first sick note when you are on ESA benefit can only run for 3 months, and the fact I had to wait 2 weeks for a doctors appointment to get a new one the DWP have now stopped my benefit.
Don't thet realise how distressing this is for me??

Reality Check

The number of strange dreams and strange random waking thoughts is starting to make my head spin a bit. Leading to fears for my sanity. I have to get a grip on reality. It's not a major cause for concern, just something that troubles me a bit in the night or when I am tired.

I am going to try a few meditation sessions to try to focus the mind.

Frustration

These days things that don't go to plan get me really frustrated, sometimes to the point that I get quite distressed.

I have set myself a project to build a new PC, it's going quite well apart from I am missing a vital component, a hard drive. It should have arrived yesterday, but it still hasn't arrived today.
I e-mailed Amazon but all they said is to wait a bit longer, up to a week... I have to say though that overall my shopping experience with them is good.
MAXIMUM FRUSTRATION!!

I really want to get cracking on with this project!

Sick Note

I got to go and see my new GP on monday (old one retired) to get a new sick note for the benefit people.
I've got it in to my head that he's going to try to tell me I'm fit for work!
Causing myself unnecessary anxiety!

Visit my Author Page

Visit my Amazon Author page.
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005JW9GNQ

Second book available

My second book in the surviving a stroke trilogy, Prisms of the mind is now available in kindle format.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Prisms-Mind-Surviving-stroke-ebook/dp/B005LVXABY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1315560322&sr=8-1

Building my new PC - Stage 3 Installing Components.

Building my new PC - Stage 3 Installing Components.

Just waiting for HDD to arrive now to complete.

Second Book

The second book in my Surviving a Stroke trilogy, "Prisms of the Mind - Thought abberations of a stroke survivor" has been sent for publishing.

Building my new PC

Decided to build myself a new PC, I need more power, also it will be good occupational therapy for me.

Ordered the parts from Amazon

They have started to arrive in dribs and drabs.

Stage 1 - First batch of parts arrive.

Stage 2 - Assembling the case.

To be continued.....

A great website from a fellow stroke survivor.

A great website from a fellow stroke survivor.

Welcome & contact - Stroke survival:

'via Blog this'

CMS Times

CMS Times:

'via Blog this'

An insight on particle physics.

Second book approaching completion.

The second book in my surviving a stroke trilogy "Prisms of the Mind - Thought abberations of a stroke survivor"is approaching completion.

Watch out for this scam

Watch out for supposed credit companies ringing up saying you have an outstanding debt of some kind and expecting you to give your debit card details over the phone.
The very least they need to do is to put the details in writing.
Then you should ask for a copy of the original credit agreement or bill, plus detail of any payments made. Only then should you even consider that this debt may be genuine.

I have had 2 such events in the last year, the first one backed down when confronted with a request for the written details mentioned above, plus the news that I was recovering from a stroke.
I am still waiting to hear in writing from the second one.

If in doubt consult citizens advice or a solicitor.

Walking and Short Temper

Walked about a mile ans a half yesterday morning without my stick, with a few rests in between. Needed a massive afternoon nap to recover though!

I'm very short tempered at the moment, resulting in me often snapping at loved ones. I don't like myself for this.
However I can't really help it. Strokes make it difficult for you to hide your emotions.

Muscle Pain

I get quite a lot of muscle pain.
Morning aches are particularly bad today, but then again I didn't have ant painkillers at all yesterday.
I also walked around town completely without the aid of the stick yesterday.

Preview of my book - "I've been lucky really"

Available now for Amazon Kindle http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B005J3U8W8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags

Foreword

Saturday 6^th November 2010 is a date firmly imprinted in my mind. At the age of 46 just about the last thing I expected to have was a stroke, but have one I did.

Sure I was overweight with high blood pressure, but this was controlled with medication and my cholesterol was at a reasonable level, I wad given up smoking and drinking some years before, I thought I was doing everything right, but obviously I wasn’t!

I spent 7 weeks in hospital, and now 9 months later I am I guess about 50% recovered overall.

Yes I do think I’ve been lucky, because the lasting effects have been purely physical, plus a bit of anxiety, things could have been a lot worse, I still have pretty much everything that makes me, me.

I have decided to write my story in the hope that it might give other stroke survivors and their families and carers an insight from someone who has “been there”. Plus maybe some people may look at their lifestyle and try to change it to reduce the risk of stroke.

This book is of necessity somewhat vulgar in places, a stroke can strip you of your dignity and control of even the most basic bodily functions.

My one single message is I guess, “Don’t ever have a stroke, they’re rubbish!”

Chapter 1

The Event.

Saturday 6^th November about 6:30am:

I was working on call from home, so a lie in even on a Saturday was out of the question, I decided just to have a bit longer in bed, so I turned over from my back to my stomach. Not sure if at this point I felt a pain in the right side of my neck but shortly after my left hand felt funny, kind of numb, but not a numbness that I had ever felt before. I thought that I must have laid on my arm or something so I rolled over onto my back again. Hand still felt strange and I felt a bit fluey, I had had a cold for a few days. I remember thinking “I hope I’m not having a stroke”. Slightly worried I got up and went to the bathroom, looked and myself in the mirror, smiled, face looked OK, I spoke out loud to myself, speech sounded OK, I raised both arms above my head they were OK, so I dispelled the fears of a stroke from my mind. Left hand still felt strange, also ring and little fingers on this hand did not seem to move properly. I put this down to having been lying on my arm, I then noticed the flickering colours of a migraine aura, an increasingly common occurrence for me. I put it all down to the fact I had a touch of flu coming on.

I continued about my daily business of housework, and online checks for work, hand seemed to have mostly returned to normal, but still felt a bit odd. Then sometime after lunch, when sat on the sofa, I leant forward and collapsed onto the floor for some unknown reason. I struggled to pull myself back onto the sofa, I felt weak. Eventually I managed to pull myself back to my seat, a bit panicky again, I then managed to stand up and walk around the flat a bit, again I checked myself in the mirror, all was still normal.

I then walked round to my parents for a pre arranged “afternoon tea”, a distance of around a hundred meters, all seemed well again now apart from the fluey feeling.

I told my parents I was feeling a bit fluey, and had found it a bit hard to get going earlier, I didn’t want to worry them with the full story. We checked my blood pressure this was a bit higher than normal, which is again consistent with a heavy cold or flu.

I sat on their sofa for about half an hour, had a cup of coffee and a mince pie, all seemed normal again now.

Then when I tried to get up to go home, I struggled again, and as I stood up I collapsed back onto the sofa. By now we were all worried and my mother called NHS direct, at this point my I found I couldn’t  move my left arm or leg at all, my speech had become slurred and the left side of my face felt numb. At this point I was panicking, I thought “God, I am having a stroke!”. My heart was pounding and I felt quite a state of panic coming on.

Want to read more? http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B005J3U8W8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags

Headway - Stroke

Headway - Stroke:

'via Blog this'

Benefits hassle

As if trying to recover from a stroke isn't hard enough.
Why does everything to do with benefits seem like hassle?

Book Available on Amazon Kindle

The first book in my surviving a stroke trilogy is now available in Kindle format. http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B005J3U8W8/ref=tag_dpp_yt_edpp_rt#tags

New Book

Started work on the second book in my surviving a stroke trilogy-Prisms of the mind.