Nothing happened

I am pretty much in a rhythm with my new life now, I have a routine of exercise and brain challenges.
If it doesn't get any better than this then I'll be happy.
I guess this is truly the acceptance stage.

Sunday Rant

A fairly average day today, normal exercise, normal housework, normal aches and pains.
Body clock all over the place due to changing clocks!
What an outmoded historically novel idea that is!
Leave the damn clocks at GMT all year, if you want more hours of daylight get up earlier!
I can't comprehend that they are thinking about leaving the clocks at GMT+1 in winter and GMT+2 in summer.
Unbelievable, can't they remember the last disastrous time they tried it!
Kids going to school in dark, dark winter mornings the accident rate will go through the roof!

Frustration

Did a bit more word on my new PC today, of course a string of things went wrong! I didn't cope well as usual, got very wound up and upset.

To be honest I was on the edge as far as stress and frustration goes before and the stroke just pushed me over the edge!

Inconsiderate People

Went shopping with my parents this morning, and as usual people were flying past and barging in front of me.

I have a stick, I walk slowly and awkwardly, give me a break for screaming out loud!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday - Working from home, it's the way forward.

Damp weather today, doesn't suit me at all, get's in your bones as my old gran used to say! Made my affected leg stiffen up while walking today!

Put on 0.3kg in the last week! No treats for me this week.

I've decided that once I am fit for work again the way forward is to find a work from home job, so it can fit in with my physio regime.

Wednesday

Better day today, managed to fix some of the things that went wrong yesterday.
Like everyone, I have up days and down days, it's just that yesterday was very down!

Tuesday

Had a terrible day today, everything seemed to go wrong in annoying little ways and I coped with it very badly! Ended up clasping my hands to my head and screaming at one point!
I was doing various bits of computer work, there is no way I will ever go back to the job I did before, the stress would be too much.... I need to find an alternative career!

Benefit

Had a bit of a panic this morning. My ESA benefit that I expected to to be paid in today, wasn't.

One phonecall and quite a lot of time on hold later, I have found out that the payment date has been changed to tomorrow, so panic over.

I just don't need this hastle!

Monday

My friend Clair and her little girl Abi coming over today.
Friendly intellectual stimulation for me.

Sunday

My head's all over the place today, I've got too many things going on in my mind. The trouble is the more I think my head's all over the place the worse it gets!
I keep jumping from one thing to another, leaving jobs half done. I've just got to slow down and take one thing at a time.

This cold weather isn't suiting me at all, it makes the muscles on my affected side stiffen up. Making walking even more difficult than usual. I can see myself becomming a recluse until spring!

Lazy Saturday

I'm having, what I used to call a lazy day in my old life, today, not going out anywhere and just relaxing, I've done my housework for the day now, so apart from physio and eating, I've got nothing to do.

My parents are going out somewhere, but I'm not going with them, I'm trying to give them more time to themselves as well as having more time to myself.
I know I shouldn't but I feel guilty for putting them through what I have.

My mum still fusses over me, but I'm trying to wean her off it!
I've stopped her from letting herself into my flat now, she has to knock the door like everyone else. It makes the place feel more like my own again! - Little things!

The first stage of overclocking on my PC seems to be OK, system seems stable enough, the only thing I have noticed is perhaps a 1 degree rise in Northbridge temperature.

I've got my eye on the GPUs for the next overclocking stage, before I do any more on the motherboard.

Friday

Just a shopping trip into town this morning with parents. I didn't buy anything, on an economy drive, in preparation for when I get car. Walking made me a bit tired. Enjoyed a nice nap this afternoon.

Just finished first stage of PC overclocking. Bus speed 333MHz -> 340MHz seems OK so far going to do a week of stability testing now before next stage.

CPU-Z validation.

Motability Car

At long last my motability car claim is moving again. The DWP have finally extended my mobility allowance until Jan 2014, so I have got the car on order again.

Great thanks to Sue Parsons, the ULH Complex Case Manager - Stroke for sorting this out for me!

Sense triumphs over bureaucracy! 

Thursday

Lost almost another kilo in the last week only 1.5kg to my target now!

Got my PC stable at standard clock now. Over the next few weeks going to increase the BUS speed from 333MHz to 340MHz to 345MHz to 350MHz testing at each stage and see how it goes.

Current CPU-Z certification

THOR the new PC that I built

YouTube video and description of the new PC I built.

Tuesday (WARNING!! contains graphical detail about bodily functions)

Trapped wind caused an involuntary bowel movement this morning, it was not serious and was easily dealt with. I get these embarrassing problems occasionally, it is caused by a combination of my IBS and the SSRI medication.

The new fans for my computer arrived today, I think I now have all the internal  hardware set up how I want it. I just need to fine tune the cooling setup now before I start some system tweaking.

It is extra physio day today, I do about 1/2 hour of extra arm exercises once a week.

Monday

Been a fairly quiet day today.

Tomorrow (Tuesday) my new PC fans arrive, so I will be installing the final cooling upgrade. Then once I have got all the cooling settings stable after a few days, I'll look at some system tweaking. The additions will bring the total number of fans to 13!

Sunday

Went for a different "long" walk today, about the same distance as my other long walk but felt like a change, it's going about half way round the block in the opposite direction that I usually do a half circuit, my aim in a couple of months time is to complete the whole circuit, which is about a mile.

Also changed bed and hoovered flat, tired any achey now. Things just don't seem to be getting easier and less effort anymore. I guess improvement has just slowed down.

Not much planned for the week ahead, just some new fans on order for my new PC. The reason for so many fans, the new additions will make 11 in total, is that this machine runs constantly at high usage with all the grid processing that it does. At the moment it runs at standard clock speed, but once I am happy with the cooling I will look at some mild overclocking. Reliability is more important than overall performance on this machine.

I will post an update with the full spec of the machine soon.

Saturday

Short walk followed by cleaning bathroom and kitchen, then dusting entire flat.
Went out for lunch at a garden centre with the folks, net result of all this, worn out, afternoon kip was much needed today.
Then I got another OpenBVE underground working.... it's not sad it's therapy!

Friday

Fairly quiet day today, popped in to town with parents to do a bit of shopping this morning, this left me fairly tired.
Really needed my afternoon nap, today. I've let the Stroke Matron know that I am still getting a lot of fatigue, as well as muscle spasms on my affected side and pains in my head around the area of the stroke. I don't think any of this is anything to worry about but just wanted to be on the safe side.

Nothing special planned for the weekend, but will probably have a ride out somewhere with the folks tomorrow morning.

Thursday

Maintained weight at 77.5kg for the last week, not to bothered as long as it doesn't start creeping up again. My target is 75kg, so close!

Going for lunch with parents today, and going to get booked in for Christmas day! - Soon roll round!

Wednesday

I like wednesdays, it's the day my friend Clair comes to visit, a day of an eclectic mix of stimulating conversation.
All good brain Therapy!

No strange hand feelings today, it was just my usual trapped nerve problem. Now before I started on the SSRI antidepressants, this would have started a major anxiety attack, and a definite trip to A&E... wasting everyone's time!

Funny feeling

My right hand feels a bit funny this morning, I think its to do with a trapped nerve in my shoulder, if it gets any funnier I'm off to A&E, it was my left hand going funny that was the first sign of my stroke! Anyway I'm sure it's nothing!

Had mt computer in bits this morning to fit a memory card reader / temp /fan controller...... really hard work as usual with limited dexterity. At one point I ended up on my back on the floor, unable to get up, I thought I was going to have to press my panic alarm, but I remembered what I was taught about falls and managed to get myself up in the end!

Don't ever have a stroke, they're rubbish!!

Monday

Got a quiet week this week, no jabs or tests or meetings to go to.

Just going to have a nice quiet week... nothing too strenuous, just usual physio exercises. A bit of computer work to keep my brain active and a visit from my friend Clair on wednesday to keep me sane.

Sunday Morning

Longer walk and housework left me feeling a bit shattered again.
The meeting yesterday tired me too, had a couple of hours sleep when I got home.

I don't think non stroke survivors understand how tiring everything can be! Mentally and physically, everything is tiring! Apparently it lessens after about a year... can't wait!

Stroke Meeting - Update

I actually really enjoyed the stroke unit meeting, it was good to give feedback, good to see some of the staff again, my favorite nurse was there.

Stroke unit reunion

I'm going to a reunion / feedback meeting for Lincoln Stroke unit, where I spent my time in hospital, this afternoon.

I'm glad I'm going to give feedback and support to the people who helped me, but at the same time not looking forward to it. I've never been very good at this type of social occasion and also everything is so difficult after a stroke, even simple things like conversation!

My parents are coming to as my carers, so at least I won't be on my own.

Forgetful Friday

I was in the bathroom this morning, having a wash, when I heard a knock at the door. Thought I better check who it was as I went into the hall they were trying the door. I opened it and it was the Wiltshire farm food man delivering, I had completely forgot he was coming. I've got stroke brain.....! (A bit like baby brain??!!)

Computer did a couple of BSODs last night (Blue screen of death!) The first one was caused when I went into the NVIDIA control panel, doesnt seem to like doing this when GPU background processing is happening, I should have known better! The second once which was more worrying, happened overnight, it was crashed when I got up this morning. Something else to investigate.
The annoying thing is I lost a lot of valuable Grid Computing time!

Thursday

A bit achey this morning, bit of a reaction to the jabs, Pneumonia arm is particularly bad, feels like the muscle is bruised internally, still I expect I'll be fine by tomorrow!

Lost another 1/2 kg in the last week, had a cholesterol result of 2.9 yesterday from a recent blood test, which is excellent and my blood pressure this morning was 110/78 which is not bad, it's always at it's highest in the morning, before I take my Amlodopine, and some 14 hours after I have taken my Ramipril.

So it looks like I'm doing all the right things.
Just got to keep improving the physical side now and get my thinking and coping working better!

So good to have 2 arms again

It's so good to have 2 arms again! Even though old lefty still has a way to go yet!
I've come so far and I've been so lucky!

Love life and never take anything for granted.

2 jabs for the price of 1

Had my flu jab and a pneumonia jab as well.
No anaphalactic shock  or anything, had one in each arm.

I can't complain at all about the service I have had from the NHS since my stroke.

Flu Jab

Going for my flu jab today, only the second one I've had, last year, I felt fluey for a day afterwards.

My Complex Case Manager - Stroke (Stroke Matron) told me I need to have them as catching flu causes your blood platelets to become sticky, which causes increased clotting and therefore increase stroke risk.

I am so used to injections, needles and blood tests these days it doesn't bother me at all.

Nice day

Had a good lunch and mum enjoyed it, so mission accomplished.

We have always enjoyed family meals out, so it's kind of a bit of my old life that is still alive in my new post stroke life!

Mum's Birthday

Going out for lunch for my mum's birthday today.

Hope she has a good time, she deserves it with both me and my dad being broken at the moment!

Post Stroke Domestication

This morning as I was cleaning the bathroom, I realised that I quite enjoy doing it. Maybe because I find it therapeutic on every level, but mainly I think it's because I can now do it!

I've come a long way since leaving hospital!

A letter from your brain.

Here is a great insight to all kinds of brain injury http://www.waiting.com/letter.html 

Fatigue

As expected the walk and the house work made me feel pretty worn out. I had a couple of lie downs and whiffs of oxygen... and I made it through.

My blood pressure is pretty sensible at the moment, finally got the medication right.
I've just got a reading of 108/65 ... perfect.

Have a quiet day for the rest of the day now, except for my physio exercises. I never find an excuse for not doing these!

Sunday

Sunday mornings are pretty busy. I always try to go for the longer of my morning walks, about 1/2 mile. Then I change the bed and wash the bedclothes, then hoover the flat.
All quite tiring and frustrating these days especially changing the bed. Still, it's all good therapy!

Hidden in plain sight. Inquiry into disability-related harassment

This report was brought to my attention by a fellow stroke survivor.
It backs up the general intolerance that I have experienced by the general public towards disabled people.

http://p3trc.emv2.com/HS?a=ENX7CqkiVuq28SA9MKJHNw_nGHxKLCC_I_cStGb5lw8W0bBhOG5mpqVsje_Hhe-n6lwR

It makes somewhat sickening reading.

Saturday

Planning to have a lazy weekend as I've got a bit of a busy week ahead. It still amazes me how tiring I find everything!

Just got household chores and physio exercises to do.